


Tax Benefits

by gwendee



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because They're Rich and Hot, Crack, Established Relationship, Famous/Celebrity Status, Fluff and Humor, Future Fic, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-Canon, Wedding Rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2020-09-23 11:56:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20339728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: “Tax benefits,” Karma nods seriously at him.“Tax benefits,” Gakushuu says, much less convinced.(An engagement and a wedding.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO FELLOW PEOPLE!
> 
> Okay you must be wondering: Gwen, what are you doing? Don't you have other fics to work on? Didn't you start college a week ago? Don't you need sleep? Well, yes to all, but I had this idea pop up in my head and I NEEDED to write it. 
> 
> I can't finish it today because I'm going to get my 6 hours of beauty sleep ;) (which i desperately need) but I super wanted to post this so here you go.

**Tax Benefits**

“Tax benefits,” Karma nods seriously at him.

“Tax benefits,” Gakushuu says, much less convinced.

\--

“You know,” Gakushuu says, “if you’re really short of money, I could-”

“Look, babe,” Karma interjects, “I love you, but I need an answer, preferably right now. The floor is wet and I can feel it soaking through my pants.”

“I..” Gakushuu scrunches up his face. “Yeah, I guess.”

\--

‘They’re calling it the world’s least romantic proposal.”

“Least romantic?” Karma has the gall to look offended. “I dressed up. I fed you. I got you a ring.”

“That’s the baseline for most marriage proposals,” Gakushuu reminds him, flipping through the magazine. Blown up on the cover page is an unflattering photo of the couple seconds following their engagement, Karma mid-rant about the wet spot on his knee and Gakushuu squinting at the band on his finger.

“You didn’t have to look so unimpressed with my ring,” Karma grumbles. 

“You engraved ‘Second-Place’ on it.”

“Yeah, and I have ‘First-place’ on mine.”

Gakushuu stares affectionately at his ring. It’s shiny.

\--

There’s a video clip online that’s been viewed millions of times, and shared thousands. 

0:04 seconds. A voice, off-camera, squeals, “Oh my god, that’s them, they look cuter in person hoLY FU-”

0:07 seconds. The camera shakes dramatically, and focuses on Karma Akabane, down on one knee. Gakushuu Asano stares, perplexed.

“Tax benefits,” Karma Akabane says.

Gakushuu Asano looks even more confused. “Tax benefits?”

0:14 seconds. They stare at each other. There’s hyperventilating in the background. 

0:28 seconds. The couple is still staring at each other.

0:32 seconds. “You know,” Gakushuu Asano says, “if you’re really short of money, I could-”

0:34 seconds. “Look, babe,” Karma Akabane says, “I love you, but I need an answer, preferably right now. The floor is wet and I can feel it soaking through my pants.”

0:39 seconds. “Yeah, I guess.”

0:41 seconds. “We are going to be so rich.”

0:42 seconds. “I-I don’t see how either of us are going to get any tax benefits from this? If we calculate our total assets-”

0:46 seconds. Karma Akabane looks unfairly exasperated. “If you don’t want to be married to me-”

0:48 seconds. “Christ, I do, get off my back! By the way, I think you should get a new accountant. Your current one is doing your taxes wrong.”

0:51 seconds. “I do my own taxes, you little shit-”

\--

“That’s so in character for both of you,” Nagisa comments, and proceeds to replay the video a third time. “It's kind of sweet.”

“I’m getting spammed links to accountancy sites,” Karma says. “People are sending me proposal videos. What good would that do? I can’t propose twice.”

“It’d be fun publicity,” Akari points out.

“Hmm,” Karma says.

\--

“Hey,” Karma says, stopping Gakushuu in his tracks. “I think your last name sucks.”

“Look, I told you, I’m not taking Akaba- wait, why are you on your kn- but we’re already engag- is that ANOTHER ring?!”

\--

“How many do you think you’ll get, do you think,” Ren asks.

“I don’t know,” Gakushuu says, admiring the two almost-identical bands on his finger, stacked on top of each other. The latest addition has ‘Akabane’ on it, in line with the surname comment, he supposes.

“Maybe you’ll get enough to spell out a sentence.”

Gakushuu shoots Ren a long-suffering look. “Please don’t give him any ideas.”

\--

“Babe you got another million followers,” Karma announces, kicking in the door of his soon-to-be apartment. Gakushuu rolls off the couch with a thud. 

“Huh?” He sits up, rubbing his eyes blearily. “Where?”

“Twitter and Instagram,” Karma says. “Why are you sleeping on the couch at 3 in the afternoon?”

“I don’t criticize your life choices,” Gakushuu grumbles.

“Uh, you do,” Karma says. ”That’s your favorite hobby, need I remind you?” He laughs at the disgruntled look he gets, and hauls his fiance off to bed.

\--

“So who’s planning the wedding?” Rio asks.

“Gakuhou.”

“You’re letting your father-in-law plan your wedding?”

“It’s not so much of letting him plan it as he has already planned it,” Karma shrugs. “We looked it over and it’s actually really good. He really knows us. Of course, we haven’t done up the guest list and seating arrangements.”

“Huh,” Rio muses, “I can’t imagine Principal Asano would be so excitable about his son’s wedding.

“You have to stop calling him Principal Asano,” Nagisa says, “it’s been years.”

“Regular Asano is Karma’s itty-bitty hubby to be. And you call him Principal.”

“That’s because he’s my boss, in the school I teach.”

“Hey Rio,” Karma says, “how much to call Gakushuu my itty-bitty hubby during the wedding?”

“I’ll do it for free, but I want the first toast.”

“Done.”

\--

“Another ring, Mister Akabane?”

“Yeah,” Karma says, peering at the display. “Which color do you think would match the other two?”

“The previous two are both black,” the jeweler says.

“White then, like an Oreo,” Karma says. “Engrave Shuu-ey on it.”

The jeweler snickers. “What about your ring?”

“Hmm,” Karma says, “Akabaka.”

\--

“I haven’t called you that in years,” Gakushuu protests, face flaming.

\--

“Should we add another zero?”

Gakushuu slowly turns to look at Karma in confusion. “To the guest list?”

“We could afford it,” Gakuhou muses, and Karma snickers.

“We are not having 3000 people at our wedding,” Gakushuu says. 

\--

“Great idea, but here’s a counter proposal,” Ren says, “instead of doing all that, you don’t.”

“What’s wrong?” Karma crosses his arms indignantly.

“For one thing, Gakushuu is going to kill me if he knows I suggested this to you,” Ren says. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to die yet.”

“I just need one more ring with the word ‘is’, then we can spell out-”

“No, no, please-”

“Nope. I’m going to do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu and Karma are celebrities and if you don't agree you're wrong. Unread all my fics this instant. Jk but I love the idea of them being minor-ly famous (as the devilishly hot Japanese bureaucrat and CEO couple). Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Okay, you know what? Write a chaotic piece of dialogue and i'll dump it in part 2. Hit me up


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally finally updating things.

"I have never been proposed to four different types before I got married once."

"Maybe we can set a world record," Karma grins at him in the rain, his umbrella abandoned somewhere two streets down from where the wind has blown it, surprisingly happy about being soaked to his bone for someone who made a fuss about getting a damp knee on the first proposal.

"I don't think there's a world record for something like this," Gakushuu muses.

The rain continues pattering. A drop hits Karma in the eye and he blinks rapidly then tilts his head to glare at the sky, then ducks it again as that was a terrible idea. "Well?" He says. "Are you going to keep me waiting?"

"I should," Gakushuu says. He waggles his left hand in front of Karma. He'd stacked two rings on his ring finger but put one on his index, much to the disappointment of the oreo Karma wanted to have. He quickly switches one ring from his ring finger to the index.

"Babe," Karma says.

"You," Gakushuu says, "have four yes-es."

"Neat," Karma says. He gets up, slips the ring onto Gakushuu’s finger, which is quick and smooth and done too many times in Gakushuu’s opinion, and yet he feels emotional every single time.

Then Karma leans in, and Gakushuu stops him with a hand on his chest. “Don’t you dare,” he warns, “you’re all slimy and sopping wet. Wait till you’re dry before you jump me.” 

Karma pouts at him. Gakushuu is unmoved.

\--

“Isn’t it bad luck to see each other before the wedding?” Gakushuu says.

“That’s for brides and wedding dresses,” Akari tells him, shushing him with a wave of her hand. A few feet away, Karma’s being unabashedly assaulted by Nakamura with measuring tape, and he yelps when she tries to get his inseam. Gakushuu rolls his eyes at both of them.

“This,” Ren says, “is-”

“Absolutely hideous,” Akari says with a critical eye, and she glares off with Ren. Gakushuu’s inclined to agree with her this time, Ren has a… flamboyant style that doesn’t suit either of them. The suit jacket in question has purple sparkles on it, and Ren’s weak defense is that it matches Gakushuu’s eyes.

“This is not a costume party,” Gakushuu says.

“What if it is?” Karma calls out, and then yelps as a safety pin pokes him in the side. “Iif one of us dresses up as the avocado, and the other the avocado pit? Then it’d be like-”

“I swear,” Gakushuu says, “if I hear one more word come out of your mouth I’m gonna-”

“Oh, sweetie,” Karma says, “that’s my job, but it’s cute that you’d try.” He sticks his tongue out and winks.

Gakushuu feels heat rise to his cheeks against his will. Akari coughs.

“This,” Nagisa announces to the room at large, “is why they’re not supposed to see each other’s outfits before the wedding.”

\--

Karma has a diverse wedding party on his side with a mixture of both groomsmen and groomswomen, while Gakushuu just has the four idiots that have somehow stuck with him for years. “Isn’t it weird that our best friends are pretty much our friends from middle school?” Karma says.

“They’re not my friends,” Gakushuu says.

“You can’t say that anymore babe, they’re watching you get married,” Karma says. He’s scrolling through his photos on his phone and he stops on one of them in high school, the five Virtuosos and Karma - the “Six Virtuosos” never caught on and Karma had said many times he refused to be attached to such a cheesy name - and he giggles at the screen. “Look at us,” he says, “we were so tiny.” Then, “you’re still tiny, Shuu-chan~”

Gakushuu jabs him hard in the ribs. Karma wheezes and giggles again.

\--

“Karma Asano-Akabane if you take any one step closer-”

“Nagisa!” Karma whines. He may be taller and have longer arms but his outfit isn’t doing him any favors in terms of agility or reach, and Nagisa has scampered up the wall beams and is perching on a parapet near the ceiling. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says to the man on the other end of the line on the phone, “we are ordering 0 inflatable chicken suits,” and hangs up.

Below on the ground, Karma - in a large wedding ballgown, fluff and sparkles making him look like the world’s glitteriest tomato, crosses his arms and glares up at Nagisa. “You’re no fun.”

Why Karma was in a ballgown Nagisa didn't know. He demanded something about having the full wedding experience which included someone in a large poofy dress.His fiance had wisely high-tailed it out of there the moment the suggestion left Karma’s mouth, leaving Nagisa to deal with his annoying best friend. He’s almost starting to rethink this best-man stuff, Ren probably doesn’t have to deal with any sort of weirdness from Gakushuu. 

“Your husband would kill me,” Nagisa says. “He’ll kill me, and both of us.” He snaps a picture of Karma in a dress and sends it to Gakushuu. “He would kill both of us, Karma, and most importantly me.”

“You’re an assassin, and he just does math,” Karma says. ”Also, why does Asano comes before Akabane?!”

“Because I like him better now,” Nagisa says, and Karma gives an indignant squawk. “At least he doesn’t spend too much money on things he doesn’t fucking need!”

\--

Nagisa hears from Ren, who’s laughing-crying over the phone call, that Gakushuu has dropped 5 grand on the wedding dress, which by all accounts neither him or his  _ groom _ should ever need. 

You know. Theoretically, in public.

Nagisa thunks his head on the table and groans. He stands corrected.

\--

"So," Karma starts, "how much to put wasabi in the cake?"

"I'll kill you," Gakushuu says.

\--

And despite everything,  _ everything _ … the running around, the screaming and crying, the changes and changes and  _ changes _ because if the curtains don’t fit Asano-senior’s vision even  _ slightly _ they’re going out into the trash and Nagisa battles between his employment and telling the principal to  _ back the fuck off _ with harrassing the poor curtains decorater and having half the mind to strangle said curtains decorater himself because they ordered muave, not  _ fucking lavender _ -

\- it goes off without a hitch.

\--

Karma has everything down. He has a killer suit which he's sure would assassinate Gakushuu on the spot, a gorgeous wedding ring which costs as much as the four engagement rings put together with the biggest fucking diamond he could find because his hubby's a classy lady, the wedding venue is fucking spectacular and Gakuhou let him see how it would look when the sun sets and the lights dancing into the sky go up bright like fireflies and stars and Korosensei and Karma almost cried - he needs to save the actual tears for the wedding. 

But standing here, turning his rings over in his hands, he feels like he's not ready at all.

"What if he says no?!" Karma says.

"It's your wedding day!" Nakamura says. "He'd said yes four fucking times!"

"What if he's pulling the long haul?!" Karma wails.

Akari, without looking up from her phone, kicks off her heel. It sails across the hair and hits Karma on the back of the head. Karma wrenches his suit jacket, Nakamura smacks his hands so he stops, and Nagisa pats him on the back. “Gakushuu loves you, Karma,” he says, “and all your meddlesome, annoying ways. You've been together for a decade. If he wanted to murder you, he had plenty of opportunities to do so already." 

Karma sniffs. He looks at his reflection in the mirror, all decked out, eyes wide. 

"Holy shit," he says. "I'm getting married."

"Attaboy!" Nakamura says, slapping him on the back.

\--

"You look killer," Ren says, smoothing down Gakushuu's hair. "You're going to knock him dead."

"Yeah?" Gakushuu laughs shakily. "Holy fuck. Ren."

"I never thought I'd see the day," Koyama is sniffling into Seo's shoulder. "Our baby boy is getting hitched!”

“I’m not the baby,” Gakushuu says.

“You may be our boss,” Seo says, “but you’re the baby of the group.”

“I hate you guys,” Gakushuu says.

“Is he crying?!” Araki gasps. He raises his camera, and Gakushuu shoves him away.

“I’m not!”

\--

“Dad…” Gakushuu puts two hands over his mouth. “I’m getting m-married.”

“I’ve been dreading this day ever since you were born,” Gakuhou says, uncharacteristically choked up. He’s all dressed up for today, Gakushuu would kill him if he wasn’t, but he opens up his arms and Gakushuu practically leaps into them. There’s simpering and gross “aww”s from the four idiots who watched the rocky relationship that is father-and-son tear apart and mend together again, and Gakushuu doesn’t have half a mind to care.

“I’m getting married!” He says.

\--

There had been a pretty huge - well, Karma wouldn’t call it a fight, exactly - but a disagreement about this particular arrangement, and in the end they’re walking down the aisle together. Karma decided to hold the bouquet of flowers because he loves flowers, and also because he fully intends to lob it directly at Nagisa’s stupid head so he would finally get it out of his ass and  _ fucking propose to Akari already _ , and Gakushuu would whine about equal fairness and the importance of luck about the tradition of bouquet tossing. Karma loves the man, despite the absolute rambles about nothing he can go on. Maybe because of it.

They’ve seen each other’s suits an unnecessary lot of times before the wedding because suit paring is apparently far harder than wedding dress and suit pairing, and Karma is inclined to agree. It doesn’t stop his breath from catching because Gakushuu is stunning anyways.

They’ve prepared their own vows, and Karma has graciously let Gakushuu go first, because he’s sure his speech is better anyways and he’ll knock the audience out of the park. Wedding vows aren’t a damn competition but everything is a competition with both of them, and Karma loves it, he’s ready to walk into this challenge and conquer it for the rest of their lives.

Except Gakushuu looks at him, looks at him with such wide shining eyes as everyone watches with bated breaths, and there’s something  _ uncertain _ in there that stretches the silence on for so long Karma thinks he could hear a pin drop, and he very softly says - as the pastor looks on with the slightest bit of worry, “...babe?”

And then Gakushuu says, “I had a whole speech planned out and I don’t even remember what to say. I think I forget everything else when I see you and now all I can think about is that I really can’t wait to hear you say yes.”

\--

Karma cries right there and then. He doesn’t even make it to his owns vows. He loses this particular contest, and it’s one defeat he’s never been so delighted to accept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it! I needed my Karushuu fix.


End file.
